I like these words..I didnt use them when I was at schools for my vocab was limited. Perseverence and patience has help me through my life..Not that my life was so challenged but i did went thru difficulties along the way..But alhamdulillah it mostly related towards achieveing my ambition in my study. I do have a tinge of 'low self esteem' n lack of confidence..Some may say no its not good to adopt those attitude but somehow it works for me..In exam..how ever hard i studied ( i knew what study hard meant for, when others were curling in their bed, i sit or lied on cold cement to catch some light to study when i was in boarding school, do as many past years questions as i could or walked 6 km alone to go/back for tuition to enter MRSM in Shah Alam, or browsed thru those thick medical book to touch up notes given by lecturers ( and the guys usually photocopied mine..and read..read..read.....)there was always a question of 'What if i failed" and alhamdulillah with that attitude i strived harder everytime and walla...i went thru without a hiccup ..and surely all this happen because of what Allah has destined but dont forget as human we need to works towards that..Come housemanship...years of studying oversea didnt really prepare me with the 'somehow different n unkind attitude + 'i-m=your-superior-so-u-must-obey-me attitude of some specialist left me crying sometimes before going to work. 2 of my colleagues 'dissappear' during housemanship for they could not stand the 'i-m-superior-than-u attitude. The consultant shout, curse you as tthey wish in front of others like nobody business..But i did get thru it..with no extension n nothing for some how i adopt the attitude that there may be part of me that course the outburst of my superior..maybe..so i 'swim' along..and guess what at the end of my posting this so called nasty 'consultant' specifically wrote a letter to the O n G specialist 'advising' her to give me a one month MC just to wait till my actual delivery date...So..how perseverence n patience help you thru difficult times..
And i always remind myself that I m lucky..When I was in MRSM my pocket money soley depended on my RM15 from MARA and monthly pocket money from my dear sis, KDa.RM20 from form 1 to 3 and RM50 from form 4 and 5.for five years I survived on that. My outing shopping consisted of buying a pack of snacks, a box of tissue and a pack of maggie mee n pad. Occasionally shampoo n books.The rest i kept. Despite that sometime i have no money near the end of the month..Lucky i ve got good friend who offered me their keropok or nasi lemak or even nasi campur they bought..n i did borrow stamps n few other little things along the way.. But that didnt deter me from my focus of getting good result for I knew the only way to get into medicine was by being apart of 'creme de la cream'..And i knew there were others in worse condition..
Now as my age increases..my perseverence and patience some how..on and off tested..But i do still hold to the princip that I m luckier than some others, I must be grateful with what I have. And Allah has granted me such a beautiful life that i dont wish to trade with others..And I belief this same attitude can be useful to others too..
Hopefully soon I can get thru another milestone in my life..Wrapping up my thesis..
Oh Allah Please....grant me patience, grant me health, keep my perseverence..Though I know I m not being a very good hamba..i still ask from you ya Allah..For only You Ya Rahim Ya Rahman can answer all my wish...